The Beginning

It was a Saturday morning. The night before I skipped a roller-derby party and, instead, baked an Almond Cake, which was good but would have been better if I used a smaller pan. The point is, I was home, alone, under the influence of no substance more foreign than Ambien. My mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and boyfriend were coming over for late lunch. I’d created a menu based on recipes from a beautiful (though somewhat impractical due to its size, shape and weight) cookbook given to me by a friend: Hot Sour Salty Sweet. It is, as it claims, a culinary journey through southeast asia. The photography is stunning. I had to photocopy the recipes I was using so they could fit on my counter and suffer spills without me suffering a heart attack.

Instead, while washing some not particularly heavy dishes, I suffered a massive muscle spasm in my lower back. I’d never experienced anything like it. I didn’t think I’d be able to stand or walk after, thinking of the few back problems my mom had on occasion, but I could. I was uncomfortable but I had guests arriving so I continued prepping vegetables and meat and moved slowly. The Viet-Thai meal was a hit. I finally sat down to relax and found that I could not. The pressure on my spine was unbearable.

Sunday I was miserable. Monday I went to my Pain Management doctor. Yes I have one; did you not read my intro? Last year I struggled with a herniated disk in my upper spine. Something that created a knot in my left shoulder so intense it still never fully disappears. Acupuncture, by the way, was pretty helpful. When I’m feeling up to it I’ll describe The Unbelievable Bicycle Accident of 2003 (not to be confused with the 1986 Unfortunate Accident, also known as Bloody Sunday when I both fell off my 10-speed trying to do “tricks” in the sand on the street resulting in a left elbow contusion, and first got my period; pads in the closet in the sick room bathroom, said my mother who was busy hosting my sister’s first communion).

My doctor was worried I might have nerve damage in my right leg/foot due to the pinching caused by the disk herniation he suspected then confirmed with X-rays. He wanted me to come back for a stress test and sent me for a MRI so he could get a better look. That was Tuesday. I refused Valium knowing I could survive an open MRI, but I started the Naproxen and generic Vicodin.

And here’s where the Diet begins. Truthfully I didn’t cook much the first week as I was mostly sleeping off the drugs but what I ate can be easily re-created and I will provide recipes as necessary. Also, here’s a List of Good NYC Restaurants To Stand In. I've decided to provide links to lots of stuff I mention (people, places, food) just because I like to have that option when I'm reading on the Web and thought you might too. And, I know how to do it.

Oh, and I’m not allowed to sit. You heard me: No Sitting. I’m not at my desk when I check e-mail or use my computer. I’m standing in front of my tall dresser upon which my laptop sits next to a pile of mail and papers. I stand all day. Watching movies, talking on the phone, everything, all standing.

And that’s really how and why I started cooking through my pain. Not only because it’s something I like to do, but also because it’s a great standing activity. Though B, my boyfriend, fears my use of knives while drugged but it doesn’t scare me at all since I’m a practiced drunk cook (no late-night eateries in my neighborhood = homemade quick spaghetti sauce splashed all over the floor and wall, and no injuries and less hangover).

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